This method is suitable for analysing both language and literature.
This strategy comes from material that was shared by an AQA
adviser for English at a recent course attended by my super colleague Karen
Cunningham @kcquietcorner.
The adviser gave a bank of words that can be used to
construct deeper, more probing analysis of language and encourage more detailed
responses, especially under the time constraints of exams. However, as I have
found this week, this method works equally well with students in lower years.
So I took the word banks and created two posters that I stuck
up in my room.
After seeing students keen to take photos of the posters I
reckoned it would also be useful to create printable versions, which I now
have.
The first poster demonstrates how paragraphs might be
started, encouraging a wider range in vocabulary right from the off. I’ll use
the first class I tried this with as my initial example and I’ll replicate
actual responses from the students. It was my Year 11 set 4 (out of 5 sets) and
we had been studying the poem “Bayonet Charge” by Ted Hughes. I was trying to
teach them the old ‘write a lot about a little’ strategy and students had
picked out 3 quotations that they thought would be worth further exploration
(and hopefully would then replicate in the exam).
Here’s the poem in its entirety: a brutal, powerful and
heartbreaking snapshot into what must surely be the final moments of a WWI
soldier as he goes over the top.
Bayonet Charge
Suddenly he awoke and was running - raw
In raw-seamed hot khaki, his sweat heavy,
Stumbling across a field of clods towards a green hedge
That dazzled with rifle fire, hearing
Bullets smacking the belly out of the air -
He lugged a rifle numb as a smashed arm;
The patriotic tear that had brimmed in his eye
Sweating like molten iron from the centre of his chest, -
In bewilderment then he almost stopped -
In what cold clockwork of the stars and the nations
Was he the hand pointing that second? He was running
Like a man who has jumped up in the dark and runs
Listening between his footfalls for the reason
Of his still running, and his foot hung like
Statuary in mid-stride. Then the shot-slashed furrows
Threw up a yellow hare that rolled like a flame
And crawled in a threshing circle, its mouth wide
Open silent, its eyes standing out.
He plunged past with his bayonet toward the green hedge,
King, honour, human dignity, etcetera
Dropped like luxuries in a yelling alarm
To get out of that blue crackling air
His terror’s touchy dynamite.
TED HUGHES
I modeled how to create a Dynamite Paragraph with the help
of the students, as a whole class activity; the students were then expected to
do two more on their own. To start off, one of the students chose the line from
the second stanza:
“In what cold clockwork of the stars and the
nations
Was he the hand pointing that second?”
It’s a complex and challenging extract: the second stanza
sees almost a slowing or a freeze-frame of the soldier charging as his final
thoughts occur and he begins to question his existence.
We first looked at what we considered to be the first two
words worthy of exploration: “cold
clockwork”. We discussed each word in turn. What did the word ‘cold’
connote? The students came up with suggestions such as ‘heartless’ and ‘unemotional’.
Then we moved onto ‘clockwork’
which seemed harder for the students, but in its purest form they agreed related
to time. Therefore, the two words together gave a sense of time being uncaring.
We then tried the same method to look at the words ‘the stars and the nations’. Through discussion
and questioning, the students deduced that this might relate to the universe
(stars) and conflict between countries (the nations), or war.
Now we needed to write the paragraph so we referred to the
first poster to get a starter sentence. Students will need practice in order to
embed this type of sentence starter but it doesn’t take very long to get the
hang of it.
In the second stanza, Ted Hughes creates the impression of
the soldier questioning why he is there: “In
what cold clockwork of the stars and the nations/ Was he the hand pointing that
second?”
We now moved to the second poster to construct our first PEA
bit of the paragraph and we chose: “this
suggests” from the first column and came up with our first layer of
meaning.
In the second stanza, Ted Hughes creates the impression of
the soldier questioning why he is there: “In
what cold clockwork of the stars and the nations/ Was he the hand pointing that
second?” The words ‘cold clockwork’ suggest that time will move on whatever
happens to this soldier; that it is unfeeling and doesn’t care.
Many students that struggle to move from D-grade-type responses would probably end their analyses here. But, instead, you return to the second poster and choose a word or phrase from the second column in order to take the analysis a step further, e.g. 'This could also imply that...' or 'In addition to this...' and then move onto another point about the same same quotation. This is what we came up with at this stage:
Further to this, the
mention of ‘the stars’ seems to suggest the universe, backing up the idea that time
is moving on, whatever happens on Earth at that moment. The soldier is realising
that his life is very small in comparison with the universe. The mention of ‘the
nations’ suggests the countries on Earth which are at war with one another.
Pretty good so far! But we’re not done, because we now need
to add the final layer, the piece de resistance: an interpretation of the
entire idea evoked by the quotation. This is where A* students come into their
own and the idea of interpretation might seem out of reach for many lower
ability students. However, when given a structure to work from I’ve found some
students are more than capable of coming up with some astonishing ideas: a
great example of setting the bar as high as possible and seeing what happens.
So we go back to the second poster and now choose a third
layer of analysis using the third column, one that allows some left-field
thinking and encourages imaginative thinking. “Maybe”, “This could possibly
mean”, “Perhaps”.
It could be
that because the starters are suggestive rather than concrete, the students
feel confident in trying some original ideas out. Higher ability students are
much more confident about suggesting outlandish ideas; lower ability students
much less so: they fear failure and are embarrassed about getting things ‘wrong’.
So we had a go at a third layer in our model paragraphs,
each student having an individual go and then we shared and discussed some of
the outcomes. They were AMAZING. Sheri’s in particular blew our minds so we
chose his answer for our model:
In
the second stanza, Ted Hughes creates the impression of the soldier questioning
why he is there: “In what cold clockwork of the stars and the nations/ Was he
the hand pointing that second?” The words ‘cold clockwork’ suggest that time
will move on whatever happens to this soldier; that it is unfeeling and doesn’t
care.
Further
to this, the mention of ‘the stars’ seems to suggest the universe, backing up
the idea that time is moving on, whatever happens on Earth at that moment. The
soldier is realising that his life is very small in comparison with the
universe. The mention of ‘the nations’ suggests the countries on Earth which are
at war with one another.
Hughes
may possibly be suggesting that the soldier is actually having an existential
crisis in this split-second, which is ironic as he now almost certainly is facing
death. Hughes could be emphasising here how pointless our lives really are as
humans when we are so tiny in the universe and the history of time. The fact
that war has made life even shorter is the cause of anger for Hughes, I think.
As our fab LSA Andy commented as we were packing up, “If
someone had ever told me I’d even hear the word existential in this class, let
along used in such a powerful way, I’d never have believed them!” I agreed.
Sheri obviously has a great vocabulary, but he’s shy and often reluctant to
commit pen to paper. This simple structure actually gave students the tools
with which to construct sound analytical paragraphs but, added to that, an
opportunity to go a stage further and attempt to be creative. Other students’
work, although perhaps not in quite the same league as Sheri, surpassed
anything else they’d done in terms of analysis of language all year.
I’ve tried it with all of my classes now, including a Y8
cover class I’d never taught before in their study of The Lady of Shalott. They
lapped it up. Here are some example of the Dynamite Paragraphs written by the
year 8s in response the question: “How
does Tennyson create the sense that Camelot is a magical place in this part of
the poem?”
Tennyson describes the appearance of Camelot
from the outside: “Four grey walls, and four grey towers/ Overlook a space of
flowers” This actually suggests that Camelot is not magical because the word ‘grey’
is repeated and we usually associate grey with something dull and quite boring.
However, the ‘space of flowers’ suggests beauty and colour as a contrast, which
might smell lovely in the air. In addition to this idea, Tennyson could even be
suggesting that, from the outside, Camelot might look ordinary, but if you are
on the inside looking out, it looks beautiful all around. Perhaps he is saying
that you only really feel the magic of Camelot when you are in there as it is
so special and surrounded by beauty.
And another
one:
Tennyson starts with the description: “On
either side the river lie/ Long fields of barley and rye”. This highlights what
surrounds Camelot and show how it stands out from the landscape of ordinary
crops. Although they do not seem magical described like this, if you imagine
it, it could imply that the crops’ colours of yellow and gold are beautiful. Tennyson
could even be showing the difference between the ordinary farmers and worker
and the people that live in Camelot. The farmers see the fields as part of their
normal day of work but the people living in Camelot would look out of their windows
onto the gold of the fields and the silver of the river, making it seem precious and magical.
The Dynamite Paragraphs are such a simple concept but they
highlight an area of analysis that seems such a leap for many students to make
and they’ve worked really well so far, including when practicing Paper 1
language questions that ask how writers create effects.
UPDATE:
Just look what @JamieClark85 did with the idea of Dynamite Paragraphs!
Just wow. I LOVE Twitter!
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